Kisumu streets are on fire with laughter after a dramatic incident involving a young lady by the name Atieno, a waitress at one of the popular hotels in the city, and Mzee Ochola, a wealthy tycoon known for owning more fish nets and sugarcane plantations than the entire NCPB silos can handle.
Apart from land and rental flats in Nyalenda, it turns out the old man also owns a “third leg” that has refused to retire!
Atieno, thinking she had landed a jackpot, agreed to keep Mzee company, assuming it would be a quick “2-minute ugali and omena” affair. In her mind, the old man would cough twice, wheeze like a faulty boda, collapse in 30 seconds, and then hand her a fat brown envelope.
Little did she know that the veteran was once a Navy officer, still jogged along the Lake Victoria shoreline every morning, and fed strictly on kienyeji tilapia, osuga, nyoyo, and pure honey from Asembo. Forget energy drinks—this man is powered by Luo superfoods.
The “simple deal” turned into something akin to a parade rehearsal at Uhuru Gardens. Mzee launched round one, then round two, then round three as if he were competing in the East African Games. By round four, Atieno was already waving a white leso flag, crying for help like someone cornered by cows in Dunga swamp.
Unfortunately, Mzee was only warming up. He kept shouting, “Mission not yet accomplished!” and was demanding a fifth round. It took the quick intervention of hotel workers, who rushed in after hearing screams louder than a Gor Mahia victory rally.
They found poor Atieno clinging to the bed like a cat on a rooftop, while Mzee Ochola, dripping with sweat but smiling, was still begging, “Just one more for the road!”
Now Kisumu is buzzing with laughter. Some are hailing Mzee’s “engine ya youth,” while others are warning slay queens: never judge a grey-haired man by his age—you might just meet a lion dressed in the skin of a goat.
